Torah Portion Ki Tetze – Building the Family of God

The video version is available at: https://youtu.be/iGRFK1OSqTI

Reading – Deuteronomy 21:10-21

 

By Dan and Brenda Cathcart

The previous Torah portion dealt with the selection and conduct of the leaders Israel is to place over them. This Torah portion deals with the behavior of the people as they enter the land. Moses had already warned the people to follow God’s commandments to do what is right and good when they entered the land so it would go well with them.

Deuteronomy 6:18-19 NKJV 18 "And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may be well with you, and that you may go in and possess the good land of which the LORD swore to your fathers, 19 "to cast out all your enemies from before you, as the LORD has spoken.

As we read some of these instructions, we cringe. However, in the context of the culture of the day, these commandments seemed radical in that they protected the vulnerable, upheld the sanctity of the family, and promoted unity and cooperation within the nation.

There are many specific rules contained in this Torah portion and we cannot cover all of them. Instead, we will focus on those involving the family. Paul tells us that we are the children of God.

Romans 8:16 NKJV 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,

He tells us that, together, through Yeshua, we are all one family.

Ephesians 3:14-15 NKJV 14 For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

What, then, can we learn about these instructions about the relationships within our biological families, our spiritual families, and our position as children of God?

The Torah portion opens with Israel going to battle against their enemies and defeating them. All that the enemy owns now belongs to Israel. The spoils are divided among the victors, but what happens to the women? In the prevailing culture and, indeed, up to modern times, the women were routinely raped and then killed, used in prostitution, or abandoned to die. In Israel, they were not allowed to rape a captured woman.

Deuteronomy 21:10-13 MKJV 10 When you go forth to war against your enemies, and the LORD your God has delivered them into your hands and you have taken them captive, 11 and see among the captives a beautiful woman, and have a desire to her, that you would take her for your wife, 12 then you shall bring her home to your house. And she shall shave her head and dress her nails. 13 And she shall put off the clothing of her captivity, and shall remain in your house, and shall sorrow for her father and her mother a full month. And after that you shall go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife.

Notice that the assumption is that she would not be taken as a slave or a concubine, but that she would be taken as a wife. Okay, we would look at this and think that the woman is being taken advantage of and forced into a relationship of which she has no choice. But in that day, to be taken as a wife was to be honored and respected.

The woman was to shave her head and dress her nails. To us, this just sounds weird! Shaving one’s head is an act of mourning, but what does it mean to “dress” one’s nails? Many translations interpret it to mean trim the nails. The Hebrew word translated as dress or trim is the word “aw-saw,” number 6213, meaning to make or do in a variety of applications. So, she was to “make or do” her nails. The Stone Edition Chumash translates the phrase as “let her nails grow” as a further act of mourning. This mourning was to last thirty days. This serves two purposes; the man has thirty days to reconsider his decision to marry her, and the woman has the time to mourn the loss of her family and culture and get used to her new life. The NKJV Study Bible comments on this practice.

This ritual was intended to give the woman time to adjust to the new culture and to mourn over the forceful separation from her family. It was also a symbol of cleansing. She was preparing to become part of a new community.

After the mourning, she was to remove the garments she wore when she was captured and be given new garments fitting a wife. Putting off the old garments provides additional separation from her old life. The new garments reflect her new position as a wife in Israel. As a wife in Israel, she has more rights and protections than a wife would have in her previous culture. In fact, in this particular marriage, she could be set free to go where she chooses, but she could not be sold into slavery.

Deuteronomy 21:14 MKJV 14 And it shall be, if you have no delight in her, then you shall let her go where she will. But you shall not sell her at all for silver, you shall not make a slave of her, because you have humbled her.

So, what does this have to do with us today? Women are not taken as captives and forced into marriage during or after a war. This situation shows how God makes provision for the vulnerable. There was no one more vulnerable in war time than an unprotected woman. We can also see this situation as Yeshua in the role of Israel defeating his enemies in battle. He sees a “beautiful woman,” literally the “form of a beautiful woman,” and takes her as his wife. In the outline of a beautiful woman, Messiah sees the potential of this life created in the form of God. This bride can be thought of as the Gentile church brought into Israel as a wife, or even as each one of us won by Messiah by defeating the hold Satan had over us. The woman becomes a part of Israel through her marriage. First Fruits of Zion in Shadows of the Messiah explains this metaphorical meaning.

“The Messiah can be compared to the conquering warrior who sees a spark of beauty within one of the captives and takes her into his household. In that sense, the captive symbolizes the believer who becomes a member of the Assembly of Messiah, which is also called the Bride of Messiah. He takes her as both His trophy of conquest and His true love.”

Paul tells us that when we accept Yeshua as our Messiah, we become new creatures.

2 Corinthians 5:17 MKJV 17 So that if any one is in Christ, that one is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

We are allowed to mourn the passing of our old lives, but we are not to continue to mourn or look back. We are to put on the garments of the wife of Messiah. Isaiah refers to Jerusalem as the bride of Messiah who is no longer forsaken and brings delight to the LORD.

Isaiah 62:4 NKJV 4 You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate; But you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; For the LORD delights in you, And your land shall be married.

The next instruction protects the position or right of the firstborn son.

Deuteronomy 21:15-17 MKJV 15 If a man has two wives, one beloved and another hated, and they have borne him sons, the beloved and the hated; and if the first-born son was of her that was hated, 16 then it shall be in the day when he makes his sons to inherit what he has, he may not cause to inherit the son of the beloved first-born before the son of the hated one, he who is truly the first-born. 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated as the first-born by giving him a double portion of all that he has. For he is the beginning of his strength. The right of the first-born is his.

As Jacob, David, and Solomon all found out, having multiple wives and having sons by all of them leads to jealousy and strife within the family. In this next instruction related by Moses, if a man has more than one wife, he is not to show favoritism to the sons of the wife he loves more than the wife he doesn’t love. We can easily see a reference to Jacob. He loved Rachel and didn’t love Leah. He favored Joseph, his son by Rachel, which provoked jealousy in his other sons including his firstborn son Reuben.

Ideally, a man will only have one wife. Yeshua states that in the beginning, marriage was between one man and one woman.

Mark 10:6-7 NKJV 6 "But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

Solomon, who wrote the book of Proverbs, had many wives. These wives ultimately turned his heart away from the LORD. In hindsight, it seems that he regrets taking so many wives. He cautions his son to take only one wife and cherish her.

Proverbs 5:18-20 NKJV 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

In our culture, having multiple wives happens through divorce or through the death of a wife. When a man remarries, he is not to favor the children of the new marriage over those from his first marriage. We often hear of a man totally neglecting the children of a first marriage and giving all of his love and attention to the “new” children! Blending two families is not easy in any circumstances, however neglecting the older son or showing favoritism to the younger son or sons only adds to the difficulty.

We can gain a deeper understanding of this instruction when we remember that God called Israel His firstborn son.

Exodus 4:22 NKJV 22 "Then you shall say to Pharaoh, 'Thus says the LORD: "Israel is My son, My firstborn.

How has Israel received the double portion of the firstborn? When God set the boundaries of the nations, He set them according to the number of the sons of Jacob and, from all the nations, He chose Jacob or Israel as His inheritance.

Deuteronomy 32:8-9 NKJV 8 When the Most High divided their inheritance to the nations, When He separated the sons of Adam, He set the boundaries of the peoples According to the number of the children of Israel. 9 For the LORD'S portion is His people; Jacob is the place of His inheritance.

When Jacob died, he split the inheritance of the firstborn. Joseph, the son of his second wife whom he loved, received a double portion of the land through his sons Ephraim and Manasseh. Judah, the qualifying firstborn son of Leah after the three older sons were disqualified received the kingdom itself!

Genesis 49:10 NKJV 10 The scepter shall not depart from Judah, Nor a lawgiver from between his feet, Until Shiloh comes; And to Him shall be the obedience of the people.

Yeshua, the ultimate firstborn of Israel, the son of Judah, the son of David is God’s firstborn and only begotten son.

John 1:14 NKJV 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

Yeshua is also the firstborn of the resurrection.

Colossians 1:18 NKJV 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.

Not only does a father have responsibility to a son, but a son has responsibility to his father. The son is to respect his father and live a life obedient to Torah.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 NKJV 18 "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, 19 "then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. 20 "And they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' 21 "Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall put away the evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear.

This commandment should generate fear in the heart of every parent! How awful to have to call for the death of one’s own son due to a life of rebellion and dissipation! In reality, this commandment was probably never carried out. First Fruits of Zion in Shadows of the Messiah comments on the purpose of this decree.

“The sages teach that this commandment was never actually carried out. Instead, it represented an extreme standard to warn parents about the grave responsibility of raising their children in an upright manner.”

As parents, the most important task that God gives to us is to teach our children the Torah. The Torah instructs that we are to teach our children God’s ways.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NKJV 6 "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

We have a responsibility to bring them to an early knowledge of God and the knowledge that Yeshua is their Messiah. The greatest joy a parent can know is that their children know the LORD and have received Yeshua as the Savior and master.

Once again, David is an example of a parent who failed in his mission to raise his children responsibly. His oldest son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar. His third son, Aminadab who was Tamar’s brother, killed Amnon. The Bible then records that David failed to demand accountability from his fourth son Adonijah.

1 Kings 1:6 NKJV 6 (And his father had not rebuked him at any time by saying, "Why have you done so?" He was also very good-looking. His mother had borne him after Absalom.)

At another level, Israel as God’s son, was stubborn and constantly rebelled. The Psalmist warns the generation to come not to be stubborn and rebellious like their fathers.

Psalms 78:5-8 NKJV 5 For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; 6 That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, 7 That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments; 8 And may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God.

God, who is Israel’s parent, could have denounced Israel and had Israel destroyed according to this commandment in Deuteronomy. However, God has not and will not totally destroy Israel. He will punish and chastise Israel until they turn and repent of the ways they have turned from God.

This applies not only to Israel as a nation, but to each of us individually. Isaiah tells his readers that everyone has strayed from God, and the just punishment for our sins is death.

Isaiah 53:6 NKJV 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

This leads us to the one obedient Son, Yeshua. His detractors tried to label him as a rebellious son who was a drunkard and a glutton.

Luke 7:34 NAS95 34 "The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, 'Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'

Far from being the rebellious son, Yeshua was the son who obeyed God even though it led to His death on the cross for the iniquity of us all.\

Philippians 2:5-8 NKJV 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

Paul tells us that we need to have the same mind as Yeshua and practice obedience so that we can be proved as children of God in whom no fault is found.

Philippians 2:12-15 NKJV 12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. 14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,

God set standards for the children of Israel as they entered and took possession of the land. Many of these decrees involved the function of the family. As we, like the captured bride, are included in the family of God, we also need to uphold those standards so that we may be found blameless and harmless and able to shine as a light in the world.

Study Questions:

Teaching Questions

 

1.      The title of this teaching is “Building the Family of God.” How is this Torah portion, and this section in particular, about building the family of God?

 

2.      How does the commandment about taking a captive woman as a wife apply metaphorically to the believer in Messiah Yeshua?

 

3.      In the book of Hosea, the northern kingdom of Israel spoken of as Ephram is characterized as a rebellious son. Read Hosea 11:8-12 and 14:1-8. How does God treat this rebellious son? How is this an example for us?

 

General Portion Questions

 

4.      In the teaching, we quoted Isaiah 53:6 where Isaiah declares that “All we like sheep have gone astray” and are deserving of punishment. The Torah portion, Deuteronomy 22:1-3 includes the instruction to return a brother’s lost ox or sheep to its owner. How would this apply to believers as members of God’s flock?

 

5.      In this teaching, we look at taking a captive woman as a wife as a way God makes provision for the vulnerable. What other provisions does God make for the vulnerable in this Torah portion?

 

6.      What other insights did you gain from this teaching? What indicators are there in this Torah Portion that point to Messiah Yeshua?

 

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